“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao TzuAs.
These words resonate with me as I look back to the last few days before I left my hometown. I had bad experiences and I think it is one of the things that led me to this new chapter. However, I am glad that I get to enjoy and spend my last couple of days with my favorite people. I get to learn more about them, enjoy moments with them and cherish every single second with them. I never felt that feeling before.
I can still recall how I pull my thoughts together and prepare the words of wisdom I’ll tell myself as the airplane descends. At that time for me everything was just so fast and felt like a movie. It took a while for reality to sink in. I am moving to a new place to be trained for my childhood dream job. Three (3) months ago I never thought of these things to happen. My mind at that time was already fixed that I will be resigning after I finish and graduate from my Master’s degree. Little did I know something was reserved and waiting for me.
To be honest, as I started my training I still don’t know what to do or how to deal with things with my limited resources. Most of the time I just act like I got it all figured out and act like a brave woman. Sometimes, I wish for someone to really ask me how I am doing. To check how I feel. Because leaving Cebu was not really easy at all. There were days that I messed up, that I ran out of time, that I felt and looked like a kid who just woke up from bed.
Now, I still have a couple of weeks before the end of my training. I need to gear up, to change my plan and to take action. Since I write about time management, productivity, and leadership, I read and hear some tips and new ways of thinking aimed at getting more out of life.
Read the five (5) things I realized as I spent my first couple of weeks here in the City of Dreams to help us get started in our new adventure, be inspired to take risks needed to take our life to the next level and gain a new perspective about fear and failure.
1) Get To Know Yourself Better
Be willing to change. If we want to stay relevant we have to learn to embrace change. Being in a new place will allow us to discover more of ourselves than ever. We have to pay attention to how we respond to other people, how to react to tough situations, how we take good care of ourselves, if we are eating well or not. We have to figure out again what’s the best sleeping pattern for us, how to budget our time, our finances and the other resources that we have.
A lot of things will get in the way and these things will allow us to have a deeper self-awareness — the kind that connects the dots between our past and present or picks up on how our emotions may be guiding our behavior.
Give ourselves some time to sit with the decision if our situation allows. No need to be hasty if you’re in healthy surroundings. If we want to test the waters just a little bit to check how we’ll get along with others then, it’s okay. We can spend a day in the apartment by ourselves for a few days to see how we like the solitude or the company of other people. “Gaining a deeper understanding of ourselves helps us to be responsible — or response-able — meaning we can respond to life, rather than react,” says Joey Hulin.
Most of the time, if we are away from the people that we truly care about, emotions usually always get ahead of us. We tend to lash out at loved ones, driving a wedge between us and it might lead us to cling to toxic habits or people. Knowing ourselves also helps us create a more meaningful, satisfying life. Because when we understand our true yearnings and core values and take the time to process our emotions, we can take actions that build an authentic life.
Not letting unresolved emotions unwittingly dictate our actions without even realizing it, many of us hold on to anger, grief, shame, and other emotions that come out in sometimes surprising and confusing ways, says Linn Martinsen (a psychotherapeutic counselor in London, United Kingdom).
2) Don’t be Afraid to Fail
Put the fear aside. If our mind is telling us it’s time to start fresh, we might need to listen to the voice. Fear is normal. If we are going places, failure is just part of the deal, but that’s OK. We can fix failure but we can not fix the things we never tried. We can’t undo those things we never attempted in the first place. If we stop trying, we’ll always wonder about what could have been.
Resilience. It is the key component to success. We’ll succeed and make the change we set out to make if we can learn to keep going after failing and get back in the game. Steve Jobs was left devastated and depressed after being removed from the company he started. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination” and “having no original ideas”. Albert Einstein’s teachers said he would “never amount too much”. Oprah Winfrey was demoted from her job as a news anchor because she “wasn’t fit for television”. Michael Jordan locked himself in his room and cried after being out from his high school basketball team.
You see, those were just a few of millions of people out there who failed. The lesson of all these inspirational individuals’ stories is that if we haven’t failed, we’re not aiming high enough. If we don’t make a mistake we are not learning enough.
I already told myself that failure didn’t have to be the end of the story, my story, your story, or anyone else’s story. Failure could be a warning sign, indicating that there is a problem that has to be fixed. Don’t be afraid to say that. Go fix it!
3) Make Health a Priority
If we don’t have our health it will impact our work, our relationships and our ability to be there for our loved ones. Making our health a priority is not selfish, it’s the foundation to a good life. A life where we have the energy to focus on everything else we want and dream of.
“Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. The enjoyment of the highest attainable standard of health is one of the fundamental rights of every human being without distinction of race, religion, political belief, economic or social condition.” – WHO (World Health Organization).
We have the right to be as healthy as we can be. We may even go a step farther and say that we are responsible for our own health. It is up to us to take care of our health and exercise our right to the highest possible level of living in order to be the best possible person for our loved ones, our job, and ourselves.
4) Find the Good in all times
Positivity is contagious!
Think positive thoughts. About yourself, the world and others, the future. By feeling positive you’ll also feel better and act accordingly. A simple way to practice this: write down 3 positive thoughts, situations or events on a daily basis.
Some extra advice on staying positive:
1) treat yourself as you would a friend
2) imagine a bright future
3) focus on the positive aspects of experiences and situations
4) keep an open mind
5) forgive (yourself, others, and start now!)
Don’t fight the negative thoughts. If you feel anxious, tired, worried, angry, etc. Try not to push the feeling away, but experience the floating state of these emotions. Then compel yourself to get back on track, don’t be like me who dwell too much on things. I knew better now so I want you to be too.
I would suggest listening to the song Think Good Thoughts Colbie Caillat.
5) Get back to Nature
From boosting your mood to reducing stress, spending time in nature does wonders for your wellbeing. Exploring nature can improve your mood and lessen negative emotions, such as depression, anger, frustration, fear and concern. Spending time outdoors can also promote positivity, including happiness, optimism and contentment.
The links between spending time in nature and protecting against anxiety and depression are well-documented. Among the scientific community, the consensus is clear: the more time you spend outside in green spaces, the better.
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