Productively unproductive day. Read it again. You still didn’t get it, didn’t you? Same here. It’s half past midnight and Gabe Bondoc’s playlist is on repeat. I fell asleep a couple of times during the day so I should take advantage of this hour since this doesn’t happen all the time that my mind purr its creativity brilliantly.
These past days have been one big roller coaster ride for me. A lot of unexpected moments, words, places and emotions surfaced in a way that would help me realize what matters and how important it is to trust God or the universe about the things that are way beyond our control.
I was working and waiting for a very important moment to unravel when I received constant calls from my mom yesterday. She said that my aunt contacted her and I should be off to the nearest vaccination site in my location. To my surprise, I did not know what to do since I already had plans for the day, a catching-up-date with a friend for lunch and I could not just leave my work right away. I informed the management regarding the call and they let me go. I worked on urgent projects before I left the office.
As I arrived at the area, the waiting game started. Some people I knew were already there around 10 AM and I arrived at 12 noon. Just to express, or rather suggest, our government must do something to make the vaccination process or any public service more efficient. I was already expecting a very boring afternoon when I noticed a few of my cousins that I did not see for a very loooong time. I don’t want to go into details. We just talked and the time passed by. It was already 8 in the evening when we got the first dose.
What makes the remaining half of the day worth the wait? I get to see my relatives that I have not seen for years. Never would I think that we will kinda have this bonding during a vaccination – especially in the middle of the pandemic. We only talked for hours and I get this major flashback from our childhood. The love, care and closeness are still there. This is what I truly miss that adulting life and this pandemic season silently took away from us. I get to see how different we are now from then, and how much we grow as an adult. We decided to have dinner together and we went to the nearest Mc Donald’s. While waiting for our order, the random chats are there, recalling from the day’s chaos, and the fun interactions that we had with fellow Filipinos who are also waiting for their turn. I was just lucky that I got to join the OFW group while waiting for my turn.
When our order arrived, one of us sang a happy birthday song even though none of us was celebrating it. My uncle and aunt, my cousins and I clapped and just rode along with the song. I guess this is a good way for us to celebrate that we survived the productively-unproductive day. Yup, this is the kind of tribe that I belong with. Take note, it was mostly my relatives who occupied almost all the tables. So can you imagine the typical “beautiful” chaotic’ish scene of Filipinos dining together? That’s us. Joy reflects in all of our eyes. I never expected this, but I love it.
Today, I got to visit and let myself have a short staycation in one of the prestige condos where only businessmen and elite individuals can afford. Lucky to have a best friend who is an architect I get to see the beauty of the place and experience a therapeutic view. It opened my eyes to the real beauty that our country has to offer. The beauty that sometimes I took for granted.
I stayed in one of the units while the architects were busy working and checking the inventory. I will never get tired of the place. This kind of beauty was unrealistic for me before, but now that I see it with my own eyes, I fell in love with it. I am still waiting for that important moment from yesterday to unravel. With this dreamlike state, I feel happy. However, in the back of my mind there’s something niggling at me that everything was “too-perfect”. Not long after, the euphoria I was feeling was calm before a storm. Just when you open up yourself to the idea of a surreal moment, it can suddenly change into one of your biggest breaks in life. Whether to let go or hold on. Whether to fight for it or set it free. Whether to hope for it or end things.
After a long day, my best friend and I decided to spend the golden hour eating dinner together. Simple moments like talking in the car for hours while enjoying the beauty of the sky turning from bright ocean-blue to soft golden-purple color is one of the best hours. I have to be honest though. It is a stupid idea to let your mind drift away for a while. Only to realize that you are way behind the timeline you set for yourself. My best friend and I think alike. We always find ourselves in separate but similar situations that will test our core as a growing individual. So with the similar surreal situation that we are dealing with separately, we decided that there are things better left unsaid.
If it isn’t for the struggle we wouldn’t have the strength to deal with things. God is always building us even when it seems like he is breaking us.
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